Pretty much every time I post something on here I cringe a little.
No matter how hard I worked on it or how helpful I hope it'll be, there's a teeny tiny part of me that thinks perhaps I'm being annoying or I'll say something that's incorrect or un-PC or moronic and get called out or yelled at or cancelled or or or...
This also goes for posting on social media, stepping out on stage, writing a book, appearing on a podcast, yukking it up at a party....
I'm pleased to report that I almost always power through the cringe, in spite of the fact that:
Should you express your authentic self, and/or allow yourself to be seen doing and having whatever lights you up, it's not a matter of if people will express their disapproval, but when.
Add to this our own self-doubt and lack of love for our little bunny selves and just going to the grocery store can sometimes be a heroic act!
Now, of course, there are countless people who will cheer you on. And there are also countless people who won't even notice or give a hoot about what you're doing.
None of any of this matters, however, because EVERYONE IS PERCEIVING EVERYTHING THROUGH THE LENS OF THEIR SELF-PERPETUATED REALITY.
I've said it before and I'ma say it again:
For example, when I sent out my newsletter last week about finally getting unstuck, I got heaps of beautiful thank-you notes and sweet messages like this one:
Thank you so much for your candid and humorous update! It was a delightful read and I truly appreciate your honesty about the challenges and joys of your journey. Your experience is so relatable, and your insights are genuinely inspiring. I'm thrilled to hear that you're feeling reinvigorated and working on new projects. Looking forward to what's next from you!
I also got turds flung at me like this one:
What a horrible email to write/read! What does this tell people who are grinding it out every day? You wrote a book and then got lazy/comfortable and now everyone is supposed to be inspired by your revival? People should be inspired by those who continue to work hard and grind it out; not got rich and trying to find themselves; there is enough of that on Instagram.
Same newsletter, totally different responses, each response true for the person who wrote it because EVERYONE IS PERCEIVING EVERYTHING THROUGH THE LENS OF THEIR SELF-PERPETUATED REALITY.
As demonstrated in the above emails, you can't control what other people think, so why design your life trying to please them? Especially since there are so very very many of them and you really don't know what they want or think anyway and, well, the whole thing just sounds exhausting.
There is no bigger waste
of your precious time on Planet Earth
than kowtowing to the hollerings of others
instead of heeding the hollerings of your own heart
Next time you catch yourself about to do or say something, pause for a moment and get clear on whether you're doing/saying it because it's true for you or if you're doing/saying it because you think you "should" or because you want someone to like you or to think you're cool or or or...
Really make a point of being as authentic and true to yourself as you can all day today and notice the difference it makes.
Also notice, perhaps, how often you habitually throw your own needs/desires under the bus or how often you feel compelled to justify or explain yourself.
Or how often you do indeed set some good boundaries and go after what your sweet self desires and deserves with nary an apology to anyone.
